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(via k-u-h-a)

Okay so there’s this boy I’ve had a crush on for almost 2 years {2 years in October}. From the time I met him, I knew he was different, in a good way. What I mean is, he is himself and he’s a total goofball and a weirdo and I love that ♥ It was who he was that just… drew me in that first day we met. I remember the first day we met, it was because I was hanging out with his brother Tim, who was in my class and who was one of the few people I’d befriended in my new school. Being in 8th grade, it’s hard to have to make new friends with people who’ve been together forever. Anyway, so that first day we met, Tim and I went to the park near their house because we were bored and his house was loud {He has 4 younger brothers, one being my crush, and then his parents. So yeah, it’s usually busy and loud at his house.}and we hung out there for a while. We were leaving and we weren’t too far away from the park when I realized I’d lost my ipod. Me, freaking out, ran back to the park and started looking EVERYWHERE for it…. and came up empty handed. Tim, who was perfectly calm, helped look for it and also had no luck. So we went back home and kept looking on the sidewalk. When we got back to his house, we got on bikes {Tim on his own bike, me on his brother Brian’s bike} When we got back to the park, there stood my crush. His bike was laying in the grass and guess what was in the palm of his hand? My ipod. I couldn’t believe he’d been looking for it, or knew that Tim and I were looking for it. And that he found it. I was so relieved and grateful. If I recall, I ran up to him and hugged him and said “Thank you so much, you have no idea how much that ipod means to me!” And that’s when I knew he was so much more… respectful and caring than any other boy I’d met before. He was {Still is} funny and kind, and weird and just…. Himself. He also had the decency to not wear his pants halfway down his butt, so that the whole world can see his underpants. And to wear shirts that cover his stomach. {He still does.} After that day, we became friends. And I started having a crush on him…. and that when things got complicated. Because I kind of took it too far…. I left notes in his desk and when he pulled them out of his desk in front of his classmates who happened to be standing around, it was embarrassing. But I never realized this until later on… and even after he told me not to leave notes in his desk anymore, I still did it anyway. And then, I joined 2 clubs I knew he was in, just so I could see him. {We weren’t in the same grade or same class. He’s a grade below me.} I used to follow him around at those clubs without noticing it, until he’d get mad and tell me to leave him alone. And this kind of stuff went on for months….. I didn’t get what his problem was. In other words, I was a stupid idiot. Everyone else could see why he hated me, but I couldn’t. Finally, at a soccer game in June of my 8th grade year, after months of us fighting, he and I got into a screaming match on the field. And we made our whole team look bad. After that, we didn’t talk much. On my last day of 8th grade, I hugged him and told him I’d miss him…. since I was going to high school and he wouldn’t be there. {I go to an all-girls high school.} And shockingly, he let me hug him. He didn’t hug back. I’ll never forget that hug. It meant a lot to me. And months later, I apologized to that boy for putting up with my crap for so long, because I know how annoying I must have been. {In March of 2012} And how much he just wanted to punch me. But he never did. Never. He could have, but he didn’t. That shows how much tolerance he has. But me? I slapped him twice when I got mad. {2 separate times.} I was a total bitch when it came to dealing with my emotions. And Im shocked that he didn’t retaliate. So anyway, back to graduation. After I graduated 8th grade, I didn’t really talk to him… and over the summer, I saw him and we got along, but he still hated me. And in September at a middle school dance, I went with some of my high school friends and one friend Katie, who was in 8th grade, the same grade he was in. Me and my friend Katie walked around the dance and whenever we passed by him, he’d blush and smile, then look away. Toward the end of the dance, they played “Piano Man” by Billy Joel and he asked her to dance. I was happy for him, because Im pretty sure it was his first slow dance with a girl, but a little jealous. After the song ended, he hugged her and then she came running back to where me and my high school friends were. I’d watch the whole thing and he looked so happy dancing with her. And I had to fight back tears as my jealousy threatened to take over and show on my face. But I couldn’t hide it, because Katie sensed I was upset. And she said “Becca, I never should have danced with him because I know you like him, Im sorry.” And I told her, “It’s fine, he wouldn’t have danced with me anyway.” And before he left, I ran up to him excitedly and asked him, “Omg do you like Katie?” And he smirked and said, “More than you!” And then he walked away, leaving me standing there, speechless and heartbroken. Most people at this point, would walk away and forget him, calling him a heartless, jerk of a boy. But not me. I wallowed alone in my pain and tried not to believe that he hated me this much, that he really was a jerk. Life went on, and I struggled to adjust to high school and making new friends. I was a mess. In November, I went to another middle school dance, only I went alone this time. I hung out with kids from my old school {the school I went to for 8th grade} And he was there with his friends. One of the girls from my old school that I hung out with saw me staring at him from afar and asked me, “Do you like him?” and I said, “Yeah” And she said, “Omg you two should dance together!!” and before I could protest and explain why this was a bad idea, she had run over to where he was…. to tell him this. I didn’t run over, because I didn’t want him to know I was there, at the dance. So then, she came running back over to where I was and informed me that he hated me and didn’t want to dance with me. No shock there. And then, when I told her that , she ran back up to him and I chased after her, and said, “Don’t bother. He hates me, he’s a jerk.” And then I flipped him off and walked away. The rest of the dance, everytime I saw him, I flipped him off. Then, halfway through the dance, they played “Someone Like You” by Adele and I just broke. I fell apart. I started to cry and cry and I just couldn’t stop. I sat in a corner and cried. I cried for the few months that we were friends. I cried for the many months we’d fought and I cried for the fact that he hated me and that I’d lost him. And I could never again be that friend I once was, at least in his eyes. I cried because I was convinced he’d hate me forever. Then the dance ended, and I went home. And cried myself to sleep. The next day, we had a fight over the internet and exchanged words that were very cruel and heartless. After that, his mom wouldn’t let us talk or be near one another. So from then on, when I saw him at church, we didn’t talk. When I saw him, I’d look away, or hide, move where he couldn’t see me. When I went to visit my old school a few times, I didn’t talk to him. And in December, when I came to visit, he was nice to me. And I thought maybe I was getting him back, that he was slowly forgiving me. But then, at a sleepover at my friend Victoria’s house, I learned that he was nowhere near forgiving me. I know this, because she emailed him and asked him what he’d do if I messaged him and tried to talk to him, and he begged her not to give me his email address, because he wanted nothing to do with me and was so happy that he wasn’t allowed to talk to me. After she told me his reply, I cried and lost hope that I’d get him back, ever. In the months that followed that fight, I prayed. I prayed that he and I could make amends and build a friendship, start from scratch. Now it’s April of 2012, and that’s what we’re doing. We started talking again about a month ago. It feels so good to not have him hate me so much…… in fact, I think he’s accepted that Im a different person now, better than who I was before. While we’re nowhere near being bf & gf, we’re sort of friends… and that’s so much better than nothing. In the past month, I’ve come to love the sound of his laugh and the sound of his voice. I’ve come to love his jokes, even though I always tell him he isn’t funny when his jokes are corny or gross :P  I think he’s one of the funniest people I know :) I’ve come to love him for who he is and admire him. I look up to him, even though he’s younger than me.{Im 15 and he’s 13. I’ll be 16 in May and he will be 14 in August. The reason I’m in 9th grade and turning 16 is because I was held back in 3rd grade…} But age doesn’t matter to me…. he’s only 2 years younger than me. That’s not bad. A lot of times, I feel like he’s the older one…. of the both of us. But after all this crap that happened, I still love him and I never stopped… I’ve realized that after all that went on between us. Sure, I got mad. I called him names and such.. But deep down, I still loved him. I can’t explain why or how, I just… did. And I do. I think he’s the one God intends for me to be with, but Im not sure, Im only 15. For now, Im going to take baby steps and take things slow :) ♥

Kieran, I love you so much :)

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(Source: sparkoflightninginmyheart)

YES ♥

(Source: spangleme)

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(via love2dream4life)

ROFL.

(Source: im-not-gunna-changee-forr-youu, via stay-strong-until-the-end)

Hmm… this is a very good question actually. Well, I’ve learned that I can be a b***h and be a brat of a teenager…..something I don’t like about myself. I’ve learned that I care about people too much…. especially this one person I’ve had a crush on since 8th grade. I’ve learned that I eat food when Im sad or lonely… and that it catches up with me, wrether I like it or not. In other words, my eating problem has caused me to gain about 50-60 pounds in the last 2 years. I’ve learned that I can be a drama queen and that’s what makes it hard for people to be friends with me and why I didn’t have friends for the longest time…. until just recently {over the past 4-5 months.} I’ve learned that my love for the people in my life is what keeps me going and knowing that Im loved. I’ve learned a lot of things.

Just imagine hugging that one special guy, I know I can <3

(Source: iinfinity-beyoond)

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(Source: thegirlbehindtheshades3)

YES ♥

(Source: trailingoff)

I love you more than I ever thought I could love anyone ♥

(Source: falandonissotudopassa)

you-know-whoo:

Sometimes a hug is all you need.

After an argument, or even after being separated from your loved one for a short or long time, a hug is all you need. It makes everything okay. You feel safe in their arms,  you feel warm when they wrapped their arms around you and you never want to let go. You just want to stay in that moment. That hug that makes everything better. So, always remember to hug the person you love. Hugs were invented to let them know that you love them without saying a word. And remember, when you hug someone, or when someone hugs you, NEVER  BE THE FIRST TO LET GO. :)

(via crashlanding207)

Like if you miss someone ♥

(via youngandope)